Have a pesky mutant ant? 
I may be a mutant ant but only my humanoid translator finds me pesky.  Here are seven examples of her murderous intent, all of which failed miserably.



Squish it

My human tried to step on me but missed a step and tumbled down the stairs

Overdose on sugar
Ha ha, I ate her under the table. 
Now she’s on insulin.

Flush down the toilet
The car keys that I took down with me caused a flood and my human slipped and hit her head while trying to fish them out.

Put bleach in drinking water
I switched our water

Grate it
She clumsily tried to make me a salad topping.  The doctors were able to reattach her finger.

Build an ACME death trap
It didn’t work for Wile E. Coyote either.

Cook a healthy dinner
She ended up with E. Coli.

“Eliza Leigh, you’re exaggerating like usual.  I only tried four of those.”

Let that be a lesson to all you ant killers and remember we out number you!

BewarePhoto credit: xardian of Flickr

Related posts:

  1. Five Movies Every Mutant Ant Should See
  2. Snapped: Payback and a Mutant Bug (No Relation to Eliza Leigh)