10 things that may one day make me snap

Taken by MinivanNinja on Flickr

As told by human translator while Eliza Leigh is still in a sugar induced coma

I am an easy going person; you’d have to be to put up with a highly opinionated mutant ant like eL. However, there are a few things that slip under my skin and make me hold back my Hulk-like transformation with all my might. Believe me no one wants to see me turn green, rip off my shirt or jump out of a plane.

One… leaving an empty roll on toilet paper holder

You’re asking for a rampaging woman if you leave the rolls empty in the bathroom. I’m not sure which is worse having four full rolls sitting on the counter because you were too busy that you couldn’t multitask and refill the roll while on your throne or leaving an incomplete magazine as an alternative. I hope you didn’t want to finish reading that article on clean eating.

Two… cutting me off and then braking

You’re asking for a death warrant if you make me tap let alone slam on my brakes after you almost cause a ten car pileup because you were in such a rush to go ten miles below the speed limit in front of me.

Three… waking me up in the middle of the afternoon for an asinine reason

If you want to know what time Market Basket closes Google it or use the phone that you are harassing me with and call Customer Service. And if you don’t know what Market Basket is then why would you want to go there in the first place?

Four… Pushing people in line

Do you really think pushing someone into an immovable object is going to get you somewhere? And they call me delusional.

Five… Using your cell phone while being waited on and then making everyone else wait while you finish your uber important conversation

If I wanted to hear about your abysmal love life then I would ask you, but hearing it while the cashier is waiting for you to pay and my ice cream melts is bound to cause me to have little sympathy for you when you cry that your boyfriend called you a selfish shrew. Can I have his number?

Six… talking on your phone in public bathrooms

Another cell phone issue, don’t talk in a public bathroom especially if it is a professional call. I will repeatedly flush the toilet and set off the dryers and then run giggling like a ten year old. Test me, please.

Seven…telling me a story when I say I don’t want to hear it

Seriously, if I say I don’t want to hear in minute detail how that guy on I Shouldn’t Be Alive survived or how that sappy Lifetime movie played out… I mean it.

Eight…being told when I can and can’t cheat while on a diet

If I listened to you then it wouldn’t be cheating now would it? Don’t ever attempt to keep me from a McDonald’s ice cream if I want one.

Nine… being ignored when you’re doing it to annoy me

Don’t engage me in a conversation and then not respond to see how long I can keep my cool. Life is not a game of chicken and I will clobber you (or at least imagine it). If you ask me a question then acknowledge my response.

Finally the Tenth and main reason why I’ll end up in restraints…

Acute sleep deprivation

Any of the other complaints are just pesky pet peeves on their own but coupled with acute sleep deprivation are disasters waiting to happen.

If you think I’m bad multiply this list by 50

*Photo taken by MinivanNinja on Flickr

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12 Responses to 10 things that may one day make me snap
  1. Some of my favourites there!

    I would have to add to the first one though and that would be if the roll is changed it must be placed on the holder the right way around! A small thing I know but like you say coupled with sleep derivation and done repeatedly…
    Jason´s last [type] ..The Woman In The Red Coat

  2. I think it is SO rude when people talk on the phone while they’re checking out. I make a point if I’m on the phone to ask the person to hold on while I do my transaction.

  3. OHHHHH, I loved this!!! I’m so with you on several of these!

  4. The toilet paper holder…that’s the one! My husband takes the empty roll off, seldom replaces it with a new one and always leaves the empty cardboard roll on the vanity…maybe he needs the GPS to direct him to the waste basket! Great post and thanks for leaving a comment on my blog.

  5. Great list! The cell phone thing… I soooo agree with you! Toilet paper — drives me nuts when people leave the old cardboard roll lying around and also put out the fresh roll… (wait, I am single…crap, that’s me doing that! lol)

  6. I love your list….but I really love the photo and gloves! I’m here to stay *unpacking suitcase*

  7. Amen and amen. Especially on anything that interrupts my sleep.

    Stopping by from SITS.

  8. Thanks everyone for your comments. Been too busy checking out so many blogs that I forgot to check comments here!!
    Eliza Leigh and Humanoid Translator´s last [type] ..What’s Your Serenade Request

  9. Ahh! I know where you’re coming from for most of these! I’ve never heard anyone on the phone in the bathroom but I’ll be sure to make as much noise as possible it it happens! :P
    Gemma´s last [type] ..Building Your Own Itinerary

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