As told by Human Translator
I enjoyed sharing my rage inducers so much in my last post, 10 things that may one day make me snap, that I put Eliza Leigh in timeout, the shoe box to be precise, so I could share 10 more pet peeves.
One- Rude people in supermarkets
I’m not talking about the lady four inches shorter cackling and calling me short but the people that push and shove to get to the ice cream. Really, the three rows next to me of vanilla are different than the one in front of me? If you are not literally starving or starring in a post-apocalyptic flick then there is no need.
Two- Talking with food in your mouth
We all do it but when you have a mouth full of escaping food as you incessantly talk or flying as you gesture it makes me want to dodge your messy projectiles while wondering if I’ll have to do the Heimlich maneuver.
Three- Leaving empty containers in the fridge
Whether it is eggs, my leftovers, or my ice cream stash if you eat it all throw away the evidence. That way I won’t get my hopes up and throw a tantrum. Well it would be a smaller tantrum.
Four- Crocodile Tears
You want sympathy, you want forgiveness just don’t offer up fake tears. Yeah, it will make me uncomfortable but only because I’m attempting to restrain an overwhelming desire to slap you upside the head and in my best Chris Tucker voice cry, “What’s wrong with you?”
Five- Repeatedly, purposely mispronouncing
I say many things wrong but if you can’t say something right after the thirtieth time in a row then use a different word. For example, if you can’t pronounce Geum Jan Di then just say the main character in Boys Over Flowers.
Six- Beeping when you’re in the wrong
Just because you’re louder doesn’t mean you’re right.
Seven- Telemarketers that hang up on you
I say no thank you and you hang up! Next time I won’t pick up the phone at all.
We all do this too but at least vary your vocabulary otherwise it becomes a mantra- in a bad way.
Nine- Not replying to my emails
When there is a legitimate question or we’re making plans and you blow me off. Oh wait, is that how people feel when I don’t call them back?
Ten- Constantly interrupting my train of thought
If I say hang on a second and continue to scribble furiously then please stop talking to me. Or at least don’t expect a response.
Looking back at these Pet Peeves posts I realize that Eliza Leigh and I have more in common than I thought. That or she’s brainwashing me. If you enjoyed my ramblings check out this post, 10 things that are just NOT okay, over at SNOTW.