Category Archives: Random

7 Ways to Kill a Mutant Ant- or Die Trying


Have a pesky mutant ant?

I may be a mutant ant but only my humanoid translator finds me pesky.  Here are seven examples of her murderous intent, all of which failed miserably.


Squish it

My human tried to step on me but missed a step and tumbled down the stairs

Overdose on sugar
Ha ha, I ate her under the table.
Now she’s on insulin.

Flush down the toilet
The car keys that I took down with me caused a flood and my human slipped and hit her head while trying to fish them out.

Put bleach in drinking water
I switched our water

Grate it
She clumsily tried to make me a salad topping.  The doctors were able to reattach her finger.

Build an ACME death trap
It didn’t work for Wile E. Coyote either.

Cook a healthy dinner
She ended up with E. Coli.

“Eliza Leigh, you’re exaggerating like usual.  I only tried four of those.”

Let that be a lesson to all you ant killers and remember we out number you!

BewarePhoto credit: xardian of Flickr

Rambles: Life Lessons

 

  1. When you begin drafting letters with basic html codes… you have a problem.
  2. Don’t sit in your car in a parking spot when little old ladies are circling the the lot like hungry sharks.  Jaws eat your heart out.
  3. Don’t eat rasinets off the floor.
  4. Try not to carry on vocal one-sided conversations in public.
  5. If you’re going to use alternative, eco-friendly or retro cleaning products- Avon bath oil does not count.

 

That’s five for today.  Remember, as a mutant I can do so much more than you sad, pitiful weaklings known as humans so listen to me.

“Eliza, you are hereby banned from watching Pinky and the Brain.”

One is a genius the other’s insane…



Just Testing Twitterfeed

if it doesn’t work this time by human is liable to snap.

“No, but i may drink a dr. pepper.”

One more time.

Who Opinionated Ant Chose to Friday Follow on Twitter on 5/29

Friday Follow for the last week in May!!

That doesn’t mean anything special though, sorry.
Here’s a list of one new, but many tried & true Twits who she enjoys reading about.
Eliza isn’t nit picky but here are a few reasons why she will follow you.
You’re funny (whether you’re trying or not, doesn’t take much to make HT giggle)
You’re useful(you know something that eL doesn’t)

“Ouch!! But it’s true Eliza! I thought you couldn’t bite.”

Back to the List
You’re helpful (i.e. linkage!!)

“I love that word, makes me think of Pauly Shore… okaay, I’m focused.”

You’re chatty
She has a MUCH longer list but lets highlight a few great Twitters you should check out.

@Booklorn     @greatfitness     @LostZombies      @MrBrownThumb      @Travelwriticus 
Why?  Keep on reading!


May’s Name That Movie

Finally Human.

“What are you complaining for?”

I’m not complaining, I’m ecstatic that you remembered to do Name That again, it’s the only reason I come on this site.

“Eliza Leigh, it’s your site.”

I know.

This Month’s Name That Movie Quote is:

How you can sit there eating muffins when we’re in this terrible trouble, I can’t make out! It seems to me to be perfectly heartless…

Here are some visual clues~

 [poll id="11"]

Need another clue? Look in the comments and leave one while you’re at it if you think you know.

Want more? Check out the Name That page.


May’s Name That Book

My good opinion once lost, is lost forever


[poll id="10"]
Extra Clue in Comments!


May’s Name That Song

Name That Song

Boston, you know we love you madly

Which do you think it is?

Need an extra clue? Browse through comments below.
[poll id="9"]

Overcoming Your Fear of using the Telephone for Takeout

Simple Steps to Get You Ringing

Ever tired and want to order in but terrified of making the call? Perhaps, you don’t like to deal with the hassle or you get easily flustered on the phone.

My humanoid is not afraid of the telephone itself, but when it comes to ordering food for herself or others butterflies quickly flutter in her stomach. Getting tongue-tied, forgetting half the order and even her own address are common problems that come up. My human may say all of these things to her family when they ask her to order food but in reality it’s pure laziness on her part. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t a real problem for many. I’m searching for a support group while my human types.

Here are a few techniques my humanoid implemented to get over her telephone trepidation.

Ask others to call in your place
If you are with friends ask one to call in the order instead. This technique should not be used all the time, it’s enabling you to take the easy (lazy) way out as well giving your friends more fodder to tease you with.

Rehearse
Don’t laugh, but if you get easily flustered and tongue-tied try rehearsing your order and address if need be, ahead of time. You can always write everything down, that’s one thing HT  learned the hard way (she called a Chinese Place and ordered of Domino’s menu).

Find Alternatives
This one is a very broad technique. Let’s break it down further.

Picking up the food
Placing the order physically in the restaurant.
Going out to eat
Ordering and eating out.
Order online
My human’s new favorite, but this does limit your choices considerably.
Go on a diet.
A financial and physical one that is.
This not only helps your budget but your cholesterol too.

Try one of these techniques tonight to get your take-out in the quickest, most-stress free way; that is unless you decide to make your own food, which I think can the scariest idea of them all.

Rambles: Life Lessons

Five more kernels of wisdom from the most intelligent mutant ant you’ve ever known.

“You’re the only mutant ant.”

Ha, that’s what you think!

  1. Brush your teeth, you never know when you’ll have a close encounter, of any kind.
  2. If you loan family money, charge ‘em interest.
  3. If you’re singing in public- be really drunk or really good.
  4. If you’re a dinner guest- eat the food and like it.
  5. Never run outside in only a towel if you live on a busy street- especially if it’s a teeny towel.

Dog Sitting Beagle the Beagle

This month Beagle the Beagle came to our house to be dog sat. He was supposed to stay for a day or two but his owners didn’t want him back.

RUFF!

Fine, they couldn’t get back over the Canadian border so we had him for a week. Not having my humanoids undivided attention was annoying. Beagle needed walks, Beagle needed food, Beagle needed his belly rubbed, Beagle got to sit next to my Humanoind Translator (HT) and got his ears scratched while watching Primeval.

“Are we going anywhere with this?”

Yes, I was warming up the crowd for Beagle. They’re all yours, dog.

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