RUFF!

Fine, they couldn’t get back over the Canadian border so we had him for a week. Not having my humanoids undivided attention was annoying. Beagle needed walks, Beagle needed food, Beagle needed his belly rubbed, Beagle got to sit next to my Humanoind Translator (HT) and got his ears scratched while watching Primeval.

“Are we going anywhere with this?”

Yes, I was warming up the crowd for Beagle. They’re all yours, dog.

Thanks, Eliza Leigh. Staying in a new house was scary at first, until I realized my humans weren’t sending me to the kennel, then I was slightly relieved. When I met Eliza Leigh (eL), I thought she was a toy, not a chew toy, but a Teddy Ruskbin knock-off. How many many of you know who Teddy Ruskbin is? Being told, quite caustically, that eL was a mutant ant, was believable, after all I am a talking dog. Sadly, humans don’t understand me, but one opinionated ant does. Imagine my surprise, my exultation, when the funny looking bug responded to my lonely sigh.

“What’s your problem, fleabag? You’re living the life here, Lassie,” she whined.

Dejected, I replied, “If only you could understand me.”

“Well, what’s not to understand, Beethoven?” She started waving her arms around.

Reeling in shock, I vaguely remember almost squishing her. After that bizarre conversation my week flew by. Being pampered by the lady of the house was marvelous, but when eL convinced her to translate a story or two for me, let’s just say I’d tell her the exact coordinates to my bone burial site.
Although HT believes eL is just messing with her mind she allows my words to grace her blog, perhaps even monthly.
I’m no wise soul, just a dog, but here are a few words I’d like to pass on:

• Watch the Dog Whisperer. “It’s not the dog, it’s you.”
• Take your pets outside, otherwise buy one you can put in a tank.

Come back next time to learn more about my dog sitting visits.

Ehem.

Or sooner, to hear a slightly cranky, slightly crazed mutant ant rant.

End of transmission.

“Eliza, what are you talking about?”

I always wanted to say that. Where’s my ant treats?

Eliza Leigh/eL:  Mutant Ant 

It’s truly all about her. 

Born in a dump in Miami, Fl she woke up one day transformed.  Although she was still an ant she could understand humans, picking up many languages easily. It wasn’t until she realized that she too could talk human did she decide to travel away from home and explore the great unknown.  Her voracious curiosity landed her in many a strange place and developed her sense of wonder.  Things human consider ordinary and mundane were unpolished gems to Eliza Leigh.  She travelled up the East Coast and eventually found a human (an easily manipulated one) who would spread her thoughts on all things. 

Sidewalks, sweets and species are her specialties.  

Humanoid Translator/HT: 

Blogger who questions her sanity.

This humanoid tries to remain objective and anonymous but here’s a few facts that have leaked out:

Female.  Works odd hours.  Possibly in a government or medical facility.  Was very concerned over mental wellness when eL followed her home and began a deep, long monologue on the future of the culture and way of life for the Aborigines in Australia. 

Since eL has been to stay Humanoid Translator has had to restock her pantry countless times, bought multiple ant traps and shared in some mundane but usually bizarre endeavors.

Beagle the Beagle: 

 A Dog

This gentle canine can speak and be spoken to, that is if you are a mutant ant. 

More Character Profiles Coming Soon:

• Andy the Ant:  An Ant
• BeBe (Local Concert Aficionado and Recipe Queen)
  

Profile Pictures of Eliza Leigh and Human Translator are percolating as we speak.

“Why I like ‘evil eL’?”

I told you to put my picture on… Diva eL!

Here’s the two pictures we’re talking about.