With all the news about airport security she wasn’t too fazed when there was a delay on the MBTA.  She didn’t hear any announcements but noticed a strong police presence, with dogs to boot.  She and the commuters next to her assumed it was a threat of some kind but could not find a hint of it on the local news or on the news websites.

My curiosity peaked and I turned to Twitter.  Voila!

Another day, another way to find your local news.  Or to prove that you’re not just making up a story for why you’re late!

Bizarre Things Happen to Bizarre People

You may recall Bebe, the concert diva who we’ve mentioned here and on the hibernating eL music junkie blog.  Since she hasn’t been going to too many concerts (or she miraculously forgets to mention it until afterwards) she’s been busy elsewhere.  Last week she shared an interesting interaction at Stop & Shop with my humanoid who felt like I’d appreciate it.  Why?  I’m not sure but perhaps you will.  Either you’ll appreciate it or can tell me why she thought I would. 

“Eliza, you’re rambling.  How many times have I told you that coffee and mutants don’t mix?”

Bebe needed to run to the store for some feminine products.

“ELIZA LEIGH!!”

What?  She ran out of shampoo and lipstick, what a combination.  Fine I’ll list her whole recipe, I accidentally went into her purse that day.  Do you think she’s missing her MBTA pass yet, hehe.

While picking up her shampoo, lipstick, bananas, Tofutti Cuties (for her cutie- as if) and frozen vegetables (sliced zucchini to be exact) she met a wOman.

Okay here’s a question for you.  Name two movies that had variations of the saying below in it…

Let’s try this again and no more interruptions I mean it!

While picking up her shampoo, lipstick, bananas, Tofutti Cuties (for her cutie- as if) and frozen vegetables (sliced zucchini to be exact) she met a woman. While in the frozen food aisle a nicely dressed and sane looking forty-something lady abruptly approached Bebe. Bebe, absorbed in choosing between Purely Decadent fake ice cream or Tofutti Cutie fake ice cream sandwiches did not notice her until the dark-haired woman said, “Why do you girls dye your hair blonde?”

Bebe, the only other occupant of the aisle, who has brown hair with red and blonde highlights looked around confused, “Are you talking to me?” The woman then launched into a fascinating monologue on why men like women with their natural hair color. Some of her arguments included:

• That her boyfriend of 11 years younger loves her just the way she is.
• That girls need to be happy with themselves and not try to be something they aren’t.
• That it really annoys her when she sees this.  And more “I am woman hear me Roar”.

Bebe replied at first, “Does my hair look blonde?”  She was confused.  Perhaps she was still thinking about whether to get vanilla or chocolate flavored desert.  Either way, the woman ended her tirade against “young girls”  by bursting out in a full-bodied rendition of you guessed it Billy Joel’s Just the Way You Are.

The young girls classification should’ve made Bebe happy.

“May I interject?  Eliza, that’s not exactly how it happened.  I think you’re exaggerating.”

It may not be exactly how it happened but she did sing loudly in the middle of the grocery store.  Almost, like you dancing down the aisles.

“Who told you that?  Besides, I think she was trying to make a positive message.  That’s something you rarely do.”

True.  There’ll always be good-doers.  Now be a good human and pass me that controller.  Let’s see if Billy Joel’s on TV.

Eliza Leigh/eL:  Mutant Ant 

It’s truly all about her. 

Born in a dump in Miami, Fl she woke up one day transformed.  Although she was still an ant she could understand humans, picking up many languages easily. It wasn’t until she realized that she too could talk human did she decide to travel away from home and explore the great unknown.  Her voracious curiosity landed her in many a strange place and developed her sense of wonder.  Things human consider ordinary and mundane were unpolished gems to Eliza Leigh.  She travelled up the East Coast and eventually found a human (an easily manipulated one) who would spread her thoughts on all things. 

Sidewalks, sweets and species are her specialties.  

Humanoid Translator/HT: 

Blogger who questions her sanity.

This humanoid tries to remain objective and anonymous but here’s a few facts that have leaked out:

Female.  Works odd hours.  Possibly in a government or medical facility.  Was very concerned over mental wellness when eL followed her home and began a deep, long monologue on the future of the culture and way of life for the Aborigines in Australia. 

Since eL has been to stay Humanoid Translator has had to restock her pantry countless times, bought multiple ant traps and shared in some mundane but usually bizarre endeavors.

Beagle the Beagle: 

 A Dog

This gentle canine can speak and be spoken to, that is if you are a mutant ant. 

More Character Profiles Coming Soon:

• Andy the Ant:  An Ant
• BeBe (Local Concert Aficionado and Recipe Queen)
  

Profile Pictures of Eliza Leigh and Human Translator are percolating as we speak.

“Why I like ‘evil eL’?”

I told you to put my picture on… Diva eL!

Here’s the two pictures we’re talking about.