Listen while you read!

It was a miracle in its own right, her temperamental car starting in subzero temperatures. But by the time she came home from her first errand she had to cancel all her other plans to call her doctor instead (Boo hoo for her I say). She’s fine other than sciatica issues . I swear she’s not yet 30 and already she’s falling apart.

Next she realized MY site was down because thinking and setting up automatic payments with hosting site are two very different things.

After that the day seemed to be going in the right direction again, she even got cooking and cleaning done but just around her bedtime things got screwy.
I mean a train wreck screwy if it was actually inflatable trains full of fuddled clowns.

Halfway through cooking she got the call, “You’re Mom’s got a flat. Can you come get her?” You know those kinds of calls, ‘call roadside assistance, meet her here, blah, blah, blah’. A few back and forth calls later she was picking up some Fix-A-Flat (her favorite car product) and met up with her mum. I opted to stay home where it was at least semi-warm while she and her mother merrily played handy ladies.

So proud was she until the can was empty and the rim was barely off the ground. But it was full enough to get to a gas station and use another can or air. This is when a clown came back out and squirted water from his flower.

HT: Okay Mom take it to the closet gas station. The closest.
Mom: Okay.

Off they went in the OPPOSITE direction of the nearest gas station around in a big loop and stopped at a yellow soon-to-be-but-not-yet-red light. Then more red lights start flashing and a man in a neon green vest started waving a flag. Oh, no big deal just a TRAIN CROSSING! HT jumps out of her car and knocks on her Mom’s window scaring the poor thing, he he.

HT: Where are you going? I thought I said the closest?
Mom: (Shrugs, smiles, looks cute and chuckles.) But that’s near the highway.
HT: Just go to the closest one okay? I can’t believe you… I say (blah, blah, blah) and you get us stuck at train tracks!

They’re laughing and HT is still shaking her head as they eventually start driving away. Then her mom takes a right away from the nearest gas station AGAIN and while HT is wondering what is going on now follows her mother into a small, half-open station. A gas station that doesn’t sell windshield wiper fluid let alone Fix-A-Flat. “Oh the stuff in the can,” was the response she got from the attendant who told her they didn’t even have an air pump. There was a CVS around the corner so HT & Mom planned to go there. But first those pesky clowns were back and laughing hysterically as CRUNCH Mom backed into HT’s car!

HT: Seriously!!!
Mom: Whoops.

I see where HT gets her giggly personality from now. They were both giggling but I wish I could have seen HT’s face as she waved her hands in the air, eyes popping.

HT: What’s wrong with you?!
Mom: Uh… (Smile) uh…(giggle). Is there a dent?

I’m sorry if ants had pants well I would have just peed them. Could you come back in a minute please?

Right, so they make it one block over to CVS, though Mom AGAIN took the longest route and cut off another driver as she skidded off a snow bank while she took the corner. Instead of parking she begins circling like a bored shark. She’s cutting through empty spots making her own circus ring. You can hear the circus music now too can’t you? Click here for a sample .

HT hurries in praying Mom won’t hit anyone else but alas no Fix-A-Flat to be had so they’re off again this time to Walgreen’s across the street. After following Mom out the exit that won’t allow them to turn left, the way the need to go, and they’re off on another big loop she starts looking for bucking horses and cowboys .

Yet another can of Fix-A-Flat is bought… but it wasn’t warmed up enough or something because it didn’t work. HT then knew how Zorg felt when he finally got his hands on the box only to find it empty. One more trip to a gas station, for air this time before making it home and their ordeal was over. At least for the day.

So how was your Monday?

Well you can. On the can it tells you that in temperature’s below freezing to heat can up under the car’s heater for at least a minute before using. HT’s done this a few times, though I’m not sure why she’s so proud of it, and it’s usually in the coldest of cold days.

Just make sure you heat it up and shake it REALLY well. And don’t forget to read the directions.

Doesn’t really sound like any of our past driving etiquette rants does it? That is because not only has it been some time since the last one but because it is different.

Today driving home HT noticed quite a few erratic drivers, nothing new for New Englanders but more than one person needed a toot from her horn so they didn’t sideswipe her (her car has a Napoleon complex but in this case people kept trying to merge into the car instead of in front or behind it).  Just minutes from home a common traffic behavior happened.

The opposite lane, which was at a standstill, let a driver turn into HT’s lane.  It was hard to see and she had to slam on her brakes because the person, who also couldn’t see came out in a leap of faith.  HT waved her on, really what else could she do any ways but noticed that the driver behind her was disturbed, waving and talking towards her.  Instead of getting angry or smiling both options she typically chooses she shrugged and raised her hand out the window and muttered, “What do you want me to do?”

Traffic moved again and she got back to singing to the radio thinking nothing more about it.  Not to many intersections later she was in the stopped turning lane when the disgruntled driver behind her slowed down as he passed, curious and expecting the finger HT looked over to see him mouth “Sorry” and wave.  She only had a moment to react and nodded but as he drove off she smiled.

Then that simple interaction took on a greater meaning.  She wondered how many times had she done stupid things on the road and felt in the wrong later.  Just a simple sorry can take the stress out of driving.

I thought that was a great way to sum up the experience but HT wants to add a few words.

“This situation was very benign and he wasn’t beeping or screaming out his window.  He probably couldn’t figure out why I stopped so short but once he saw the other driver figured it out.  I hate to admit but if he showed more than the minor irritation I probably would have responded by driving rather slow or some other stupid thing that could have easily escalated.  Err, but that is not what this post is about.”

Ha ha, HT nice try, but that deserves its own post don’t you think?  My only real question is why would you have your windows down in November?  Brr.

What about you?  Have you ever jumped to conclusions while driving and said or done something only to realize you were wrong?  What did you do?

Play it while you read… you know you can’t resist

As a short person, alright a mutant ant, I see things from a different perspective. Stop snickering, I don’t just mean that because I’m millimeters from the ground but because I change my physical perspective all the time. Perception is something that my human is quite obsessed with (here’s an example) and perhaps that is because as a human she is limited in hers. After all most humans, I know there are a few daredevils and human fly’s out there, can’t crawl upside down on ceilings (Catherine Zeta-Jones) or randomly decide to scale a skyscraper (Spidey).

How does this relate to short people and big cars?

Well it has nothing to do with a Napoléon complex, which is a whole other issue. Short people need big cars to be able to see everything around them. I have no scientific proof but how about a case study?

My human is 59 inches tall and when she drives a small car, say a Sentra or Corolla she needs to sit on a pillow to see over the steering wheel. Let that image just sit for a minute… thank you, had to get some evil cackles out on that. Now if she was driving a small to mid-sized SUV or truck this would not be a problem.

“Eliza, can I interrupt?”

Well, you just did. Would you like to add something from the short perspective, human?

“Just because you’re short doesn’t mean you need a bigger car to see over the steering wheel. You need higher seats or one of those nifty seats that tips up and raises you higher.”

So you are admitting that you need a pillow to see over the steering wheel?

“Well…”

Another good reason for short people or at least my human to have a bigger car is ground clearance.

“Why? Wouldn’t it be harder to get my short legs in, pest?”

That too, but at least when you hit curbs you won’t rip out the underbody. Heehee!

“Eliza Leigh! You promised you wouldn’t tell!”

Are you short and ready to switch to a bigger car?

Here are a few I like for those vertically or driving challenged.

Toyota Venza by The Toad on Flickr

Volvo XC60 by Carcomparing.eu on Flickr

Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sahara by jiazi on Flickr

• Return the car in the same if not better condition
• Thank them verbally and in some cases monetarily
• Don’t wreck it
  

Return the car in same if not better condition
If you borrow a car don’t trash it.  If you do more than likely you’ll never get to use that car again.  What if it’s already trashed?  Don’t make it worse.  In fact, if you really want to the owner happy, clean their car.  We’re not talking about Monk-style  but perhaps throwing out their old Dunkin Donuts coffee or other trash would be noticed and appreciated.  Of course, there’s always the person who works/sleeps/lives in their car and have chaos that only they can comprehend and they will look at your tidying as a nusicance.
On the whole, if you show people you will be respectful of their property they’ll be more likely to let you borrow it in the future.
If you borrow a car that’s so nasty even the roaches won’t stay in it ask yourself how bad you really need to drive that day.

Thank them verbally and in some cases monetarily
If you are borrowing a car for a quick errand a thank you will do.  If it’s a long-standing habit however (say you take the car to work every night) a thank you is nice but money is even better.  Whether you do it once in awhile or a system is set up between you and the owner it shows them your responsibility and appreciation and makes it more likely you will be able to drive their car again.

Don’t wreck it
This is the most important reminder.  As we all know accidents do happen so just make sure it wasn’t your fault!

If you have the misfortune to drive through a snow storm there are a few things you should remember.  If at all possible Winterize your vehicle.  Have all-wheel drive?  That’s great, but if your tires are bald it won’t make much difference.  Lets break it down shall we:

1 You
You have bald tires?  A light car?  No windshield wiper fluid?
While you can still make it without a scratch being prepared for the climate changes should be a no-brainer.  Perhaps this is why my human has yet to get new tires, refill the fluid or check the brakes.
“Hey!  I was the victim!”‘
Oh cry me a river.  Moving on, so now that you’re car is Winterized you think your indestructible (can you hear that echoing too?).  Believe me you are not.  You take a corner to fast or keep switching lanes and cutting other drivers off you’re not going to make it home without a few scratches.
Use your brain.  You see someone skidding in front of you- don’t go around them till it doesn’t look like they’re going to swerve into you- hello!  If there are two lanes open use the one with less snow.  Don’t pass the plow truck when it’s actually plowing.

2 Weather
Winterizing your car basically covered it but here are a few more friendly reminders.
Don’t pull onto a highway without looking over.  Yeah you can get away with it normally but when you haven’t brushed your car off  it tends to look like a small hill.
“A small moving hill?”
Whatever!  Speaking of that- clean off your car!  I understand if you can’t reach the top some people have short stubby arms but at least wipe off your windows.  Because the minute you cut someone off on the highway and slowly start to accelerate they are not going to be able to see. 
“I think it looks pretty.”
Pretty annoying.  Then the wipers go crazy.
“Speaking of crazy.  Eliza Leigh you seem really crabby.”

3 Other People
It doesn’t matter how equipped you are for all possibilities but if you think that you’re the only driver stuck outside driving when everyone else called in sick think again.  Watch Your Back.  And your sides and definitely your front.  Somebody might try to zip in front of you (they always will, especially my humanoid) but they forgot that their little toyota corolla is lower to the ground then the snow on the road is.  They will get stuck or skid out or slam on their brakes.  It don’t matter how foolish they are because if you plow into them chances are you’re getting sued. 

In conclusion, when it’s snowing call in sick, take a train or a hike and Watch Your Back!

Do you have any tips you’d like to share.  Was there one that you didn’t agree with?  Please share here.
After all I’ll never get my license, I’m an ant.
“Hardly who I’d call a driving expert.”

Ooh, I like that. Especially coming from you.
“Do you want to hear this or not?”
Continue.

As told by Humanoid Translator:

Signs you are an inconsiderate driver:

• You block people in their driveways.
• You stop traffic to talk with your buddy going the other way.
• You drive down the middle of two lanes.

Let’s take a closer look shall we?

I like unself better.

“Whatever.”

The funny part about this road rage expert (ooh I like even better) is they rarely (“Never”) follow this tenet.

Let me ask you all this geometry question:
If four cars are in front of you and you DON’T tail will you make it through a red light that everyone else is stopped at?

“Eliza. The ‘road-rager’ was panicking thinking they were going to miss their train. If it made them feel better to yell at me for not tailing someone who couldn’t go anywhere anyways- then that’s their prerogative. Besides it was funny.”

‘Go faster I would have made it through the light.’
‘But there’s four people in front of us, you driving would have changed that?’
‘Maybe.’

The Lesson here people is~

Never listen to your passengers

“Unless one’s not completely in the car.”

Let the panicked person drive

“If they crash it won’t be your fault.”