Tag Archive: Life Lessons

Lesson Learned: From Flat Tires

People will walk/drive by you and stare without saying anything. This didn’t bother me the ten times people passed us by until one man walked by REAL slow and then DROVE by real slow. He should’ve stopped and asked for my autograph. Incidentally, one woman stopped and the two guys that ultimately got my tire…

Rambles: Life Lessons

  When you begin drafting letters with basic html codes… you have a problem. Don’t sit in your car in a parking spot when little old ladies are circling the the lot like hungry sharks.  Jaws eat your heart out. Don’t eat rasinets off the floor. Try not to carry on vocal one-sided conversations in…

Rambles: Life Lessons

 Human, never ever leave on Whacked Out sports again. ”I thought you liked the VS Channel?” Unless you’re on the show, I won’t watch.  It’s painful now, but that would be quite amusing. “That is your life lesson?  So should I just delete the five you made me type out below?” Read a book, watch…

Rambles: Life Lessons

If you always have to explain your favorite movie quotes to others- just don’t quote. Put pillows at the base of all your stairs or a mini-trampoline. Eat good food- whatever tastes good to you. Try not to fall asleep in the tub- you are NOT on Invasion. Channel your inner Yoda, whatever that means.

Rambles: Life Lessons

Don’t sit next to the exit of a movie theater with your Chinese food and Beer- at least don’t act shocked when you get caught. Don’t give someone directions when you’re lost. Try not to fall asleep while eating. If you’re mad at someone, wash all their dark clothes… in bleach. Keep your temper tantrums…

Rambles: Life Lessons

Five more kernels of wisdom from the most intelligent mutant ant you’ve ever known. “You’re the only mutant ant.” Ha, that’s what you think! Brush your teeth, you never know when you’ll have a close encounter, of any kind. If you loan family money, charge ‘em interest. If you’re singing in public- be really drunk…

Rambles: Life Lessons

Life is like a box of… Some seriously deep lessons I, Eliza Leigh (Mutant Ant), will share with the masses. “There, Eliza, you just lost your last reader.” Who?  Someone reads this blog? “Me.” Fine… here are five life lessons you’d do well to ponder. “Better.” Don’t use Burt Bees lip balm as an eye…

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