Posts tagged ‘Opinionated Ant’

I have a lovely post just waiting to go live telling you what I’ve been up to this past month but in the meantime I wanted to let you know that my human has finals this week and another dratted cold so she is still ignoring me.

If she keeps this up much longer I’m going to have to take drastic measures.

The plus is that she has promised to devote more time to Muah on her break than her silly camera and I have some brilliant ideas that have been hard to hold back.

Here it is a rainy, icy, slushie mix.  See even the sky is sad that my blog has been so quiet.  Really, next semester I’m going to have to lay the law down with my humanoid.  No homework until my blog is done.

That sounds fair doesn’t it!?

Hope you are all staying sane, one crazy human is enough to deal with at a time Thank You very much.

For maximum immersion play this song while reading.

“Think of it as this posts theme song.”

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Try It!
Spend five minutes (or more) in your yard, deck or parking lot. Take pictures of things you find, whether they are every day items or buried treasure. Look below to see what eL & HT found. Enjoy. 

So out of five types of seeds my human was told to replant, she did three.
“Two out of three ain’t bad.”
Slave, you are no Meatloaf. When it a comes a time fer harvestin, don’t come lookin ter me ta feed yer.
“Eliza, what have you been watching? Or is that some sort of allergic reaction to all the rice you’ve been eating?”
A bunchc’r Westerns.
“Stop yer you’re making me regret cable… again.”
But, but, what about Primeval or The Torchwood Miniseries or Dr. Who?
“Those are all from BBC, they probably have them online.”
Fine, what about Psych, Royal Pains, Leverage, My Manny…
“My Manny! Never heard of it. Is it a reality show following Manny Ramirez? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Here I am lying on my blanket beneath an apple (or is it a pear?) tree, listening to the wind and the birds and the tires screeching. It’s beautiful. I’m not going to waste a sweaty, bug-crawling, dirt-relishing moment debating TV with you.”
Fine.
“Fine.”
Moving right along.
Enjoy some pictures from the yard. My human quickly got bored finished planting and then walked around aimlessly with a scarf a la turban on her head.
“Have you ever had a sunburn on your scalp? Didn’t think so.”
You never know what you’ll find. Things that look ordinary from another perspective can become quite extraordinary.
“From the beautiful to the bizarre.”

Wait, isn’t that a TV show?
“TV, eL, TV! Stop with the TV already.”
Wow, we just survived a bird brawl (I think it was my human’s shrill voice that set them off). Good thing you wore your turban, HT.
“Oh, don’t forget the pictures of the drowned ant.”

EVIL!  Oh yeah, well The Unusuals is cancelled and I didn’t sign the petition. Pay back baby.
“One word.”
NO! Not the shoebox-

Did you try the Try It! Challenge? Don’t have a yard? Sneak in your neighbors, or go to a public place and take five random pictures (or more) of everyday things. Try it! Leave your musings below.

Once upon a time in a town called Mayberry my  human stumbled across some hot sauce with her picture on the label.

“Eliza!  There are so many things wrong with this post.”

Besides the fact that you have no Sir Fartalot?
no…No…NO!  Not the shoebox!

“Let’s start over.”

“There once was an opinionated ant.
A shoe came down and she went splat.”

“THE END”

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Finally, my Humanoid has uploaded some beautiful pieces of artwork. As in me, of course.

Many months ago, HT got her timing right (this is very rare) and started following Chris Eliopoulos (Cartoonist i.e. Misery Loves Sherman) on Twitter in time to get a drawing done.  Since she was able to get anything drawn, naturally she chose me.

“Not that I had a choice, I really wanted to ask if he could draw a reflexology treatment.”

Boring and stop squinting.

“I can’t help it, it’s from all the ocular eye shots I’ve been taking lately. Anyone have any eye shots they’d like to share so my poor beady eyes can take a break?”

What happened to your last victim? I mean volunteer?

“They went blind.”

Ouch, I hope you have liability insurance. Back to my beautiful pictures, here is a sample of some from very gifted artists.

 anonymous (until we find out what he wants to be known as.  eL drawings today the Louvre tomorrow)

“I especially like these…
It captures one of my favorite fantasies.”

EVIL!! Now I’m going to tell you the Primeval spoiler…

“More eL pictures coming as we type. Have you seen her about? Let us know or drop your clean link in the comments below.”

How come you always get to say the legal mumbo jumbo?

“Now who’s sulking?”

 

Eliza stars in her first movie.  It’s an one minute movie with a mystery at the end.  Watch it, then finish the story below.  It is voiceless (apart from the chirping birds), a bit noisy and captioned.

Let us know what you think, enjoy.

 

Looking for more One Minute Movies?  Here are a few eL enjoys.

• ‘GYFF One Minute Movie’ BOOM!!!  
• a suspicious character… 
• One Minute Short Film – Destiny (Israel, 2005)
  

The store of course. We’ve talked about this lovely store before.  However, it wasn’t until my humanoid bought a few decadent massage bars and left them unprotected on the counter that I truly fell in love.
“Actually, you fell in the glitter massage bar. Amazing, I didn’t think glitter could stick on your hard shell.”
Ha ha ha, very funny. In all seriousness I think you should work at Lush part-time. There has to be some kind of discount or perk.
“Organic pesticides perchance?”

Human I hate to sound like I’m nagging you-
“but?”
I keep looking at your draft pile and it’s growing larger and larger.
“That’s good, isn’t it?”

In theory, but why haven’t you posted my thoughts on underwater tunnels, the future of sidewalks or even my monthly movie reviews?

“Who would want to read them?”
Who-who! Stop snickering. You are paid-
“-am I?!”
-your job is to translate, transcribe, BLOG my thoughts. So blog’em!

“Eliza Leigh?”
What?
“How are you enjoying your sugar detox?”
I think you should pass me those Reeses Pieces.
Please.

Finally we get to see Madea on the silver screen again!
Are you going to the movies tonight?  My l a m e o humanoid refuses to take me opening night…
“I can’t go tonight but I’m definitely going this weekend.”

What about me?
“You Eliza?  It depends on your behavior.  And if you promise not to wear that costume.”
Oh come on, I’m getting into character.
“Hmm, as Korben Dallas says,’I am not going.’”
Back to Madea.  No Fifth Element deviations right now. 
“Okay who wants to see Eliza Leigh’s mugshot?”

HUMAN!  shoebox!
“I doubt you’d find one large enough for me.  Let’s make a deal, we show your mugshot and I’ll take you to the movies.”
You won’t put me in with the Rasinets again will you?
“Fine.”
Deal… here’s my mugshot… but I think I’d do better without blond hair, what do you think?
“I think it’s time to buy tickets.”

On parting note, here’s a clip from Madea Goes to Jail (the play).  We’ve mentioned it before, but can’t help hoping it will be in the movie in some form~

“I’m through, I’m through.”

 

A message from the author:
Enjoy snippets from Eliza Leigh’s Memoirs.  They are in no particular order so check back often and read Eliza Excerpts

As told by Eliza Leigh~

When I was very young I dreamed of being a queen.  My colony was quite large so we had more than one queen at a time.  My mother was the oldest, at least 20 human years.  She would tell me how one day I would be a queen like her.

Sadly, a Hurricane destroyed that dream.  I was still in my formative years when the “great storm” (possibly Wilma) struck.  Queens are determined by the nutrition they receive as baby ants, or larvae.  This is the case in any ant colony and ours was no different.  Fighting to survive the “great storm” that ripped our nest asunder caused my proper nutrition to naturally become a luxury.  Once the storm abated, work began to repair our home and clean up the carnage left behind.

It was because of this that my mother and queen recognized that although I had entered the work force through necessity I was rather good at my job.  Instead of me, one of my sisters (a breeder) would rule beside our mother and I would continue on to find my destiny.