Ever tired and want to order in but terrified of making the call? Perhaps, you don’t like to deal with the hassle or you get easily flustered on the phone.

My humanoid is not afraid of the telephone itself, but when it comes to ordering food for herself or others butterflies quickly flutter in her stomach. Getting tongue-tied, forgetting half the order and even her own address are common problems that come up. My human may say all of these things to her family when they ask her to order food but in reality it’s pure laziness on her part. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t a real problem for many. I’m searching for a support group while my human types.

Here are a few techniques my humanoid implemented to get over her telephone trepidation.

Ask others to call in your place
If you are with friends ask one to call in the order instead. This technique should not be used all the time, it’s enabling you to take the easy (lazy) way out as well giving your friends more fodder to tease you with.

Rehearse
Don’t laugh, but if you get easily flustered and tongue-tied try rehearsing your order and address if need be, ahead of time. You can always write everything down, that’s one thing HT  learned the hard way (she called a Chinese Place and ordered of Domino’s menu).

Find Alternatives
This one is a very broad technique. Let’s break it down further.

Picking up the food
Placing the order physically in the restaurant.
Going out to eat
Ordering and eating out.
Order online
My human’s new favorite, but this does limit your choices considerably.
Go on a diet.
A financial and physical one that is.
This not only helps your budget but your cholesterol too.

Try one of these techniques tonight to get your take-out in the quickest, most-stress free way; that is unless you decide to make your own food, which I think can the scariest idea of them all.

No related posts.

I, Eliza Leigh, Mutant Ant, feel that for every great movie there are talented ants working behind the scenes. Whether they are directing traffic, eating food or building sets; ants are extremely organized and highly overlooked.

“Oh Please, Eliza, get to your list already.”

That was my Humanoid Translator, yet another one of you mammals who under-appreciates us ants. Here are a few movies that show ants in their glory.

1.  The Ant Bully

2006 animated film featuring some pretty interesting characters.  Classic ant rebellion, they won’t take human tyranny anymore!

A young boy is being bullied in school and to make himself feel better he picks on the ant colony in his backyard. Little does he know that the ants have other plans. He is shrunk by the Ant Wizard (Nicolas Cage) and the Ant Queen (Meryl Streep) decides to teach him a lesson. With the help of others, Lucas, learns valuable lessons about life and self worth. As an ant myself, my favorite character was the potion wielding wizard, Zoc, while my Humanoid Translator’s was without a doubt the exterminator (Paul Giamatti).

2.  A Bug’s Life

This Disney Pixar movie burst on to screen in 1998. Follow along with a clumsy, misunderstood ant, Flick, as he goes on a quest to find warriors strong enough to crush the greedy grasshoppers eating all the food. Flick finds his warriors (a circus act) and they all band together to fight for their rights. Some of the cast includes; David Foley, Kevin Spacey, Denis Leary, David Hyde Pierce, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Hayden Panettiere.

3.  Antz

This ant movie also came out in 1998 with Woody Allen and Sylvester Stallone switching places in their ant colony so Z (Woody Allen) can get noticed by the princess. Between dealing with the princess (Sharon Stone) and battling Gene Hackman as an Army General with an evil plan things get intense for the neurotic hero. Other voice talents are Christopher Walken, Danny Glover and Dan Aykrod.

This one is in my Queue.

4.  The Naked Jungle

The classic featuring “billions of relentless killer ants” is a love story. Charlton Heston and his mail-order bride (Eleanor Parker) romance with the South American jungle and hungry insects as the backdrop. This 1954 film should be watched in school to educate and warn little children about deforestation.

5.  Them!

Another 1954 ant thriller, this one is about giant mutant ants bent on the total annihilation of the human race. It’s one every human should watch during an anti-war campaign. Personally, I have one quibble, as a mutant ant, I find them to be aesthetically unappealing and without any fashion sense. Just because someone is mutated by radiation does not mean they lose their sense of dignity or style.

While there are many other movies featuring ants, the latest Indiana Jones for example, these five show ant’s as the heroes, even if they are chomping on soft human skin. Interested in documentaries? Nova has a few on DVD, check them out if you want the creepy-crawlies.
And throw out that Raid! 

Related posts:

1. 7 Ways to Kill a Mutant Ant- or Die Trying
2. Movies eL wants to see but probably won’t in March 2010
3. 2009 Reflections: 16 Opinionated Ant posts to read while bored