My human went to see Ice Age 3 without me two weeks ago.

“And it was lovely.”

I’m beginning to notice a trend…..sorry human, the butter isn’t melting, now get that angelic expression off your face.

“My aren’t we cranky!”

You would to if it happened to you.  Human, must you sing that song or any when you hear a familiar phrase?

“It’s a sickness.  Sort of like talking to an imaginary ornery ant.”

I’m not imaginary!  Ornery yes, but very real.

“Calm down.  You’d think you’re the one who’s gone caffeine free.”

Please, you won’t last a day.

“Going on day 15.  Eliza, what’s the point of this post again?  Because, Dr. Pepper has just pushed everything else out of my mind.”

Pet Peeves at the Movies:  What’s yours?

“That’s it?  You’re not going to tell them about the man?”

What man?

“The one that sat behind me.  Complaining about people texting he pretentiously said, “When are they going to ban texting?”  Imagine an overeducated, middle-aged male with something lodged in his soft palate.”

You mean mucous?

“Eww!  But maybe.  The fact that the screen was still black without even commercials, let alone previews, rolling made it funny.  After I finished tweeting his whininess I turned off my cell phone.  Now if only he could have turned off his kid, who kicked my chair.  Repeatedly.  Did it annoy me, someone who abstained from popcorn, caffeine and candy?  No.  I went to a kids movie, I expected and reveled in the rocking chair (which made me quite sleepy).  It wasn’t until the end of the movie that the man truly got under my skin.”

That’s it?!  Why did you stop?

“Hand cramp.  During the little bonus, right before the credits, he leaned over to another parent he was with and spewed venom on the movie!  Personally, I agreed with some of his thoughts but I had hard time listening to his stuffy speech while it was ending.  He complained about it’s excessive violence in one breath and then extolled it as a ‘technological masterpiece’ (huh, did we both see Ice Age 3?).”

“His point about the violence was laughable since this is Ice Age Three, if the first or second movie had a particular element wouldn’t it be a safe to say that the third movie would follow the same formula?  Hmm, if he was such a concerned and conscientious parent who objected to the movie he could’ve looked up the reviews and ratings before coming or waiting until the end of the movie.  So save your thirty second commentaries for before or after the movie!”

WOW!  Coming from the girl who talks throughout the whole movie.

“I sat with a space on either side, it’s safer that way.”

Pet Peeves at the Movies:

Some of Human’s are below in italics.  Plus, Eliza’s comments inbold.

“Babies that cry continuously & the parents who don’t take them out.”

Or smother.

”Smelly burps that float up or down & asphyxiate you!”

Gag.

”Loud Gum Smacking.”

In what context?

”Pretentious viewers- talking bad about movie in progress.”

Leave and get a refund people!

”People who continuously get up to bathroom.”

Depends!  Depend on it.

”Have stinky feet hung in your face.”

If you want to put your feet up in a crowded theater- sit in front of the bar.

”People who talk over the movie.”

Unless it’s you.

Do you have movie going story or pet peeve you’d like to share?  Leave a comment below or tweet us!

“You’re the only mutant ant.”

Ha, that’s what you think!

1. Brush your teeth, you never know when you’ll have a close encounter, of any kind.
2. If you loan family money, charge ‘em interest.
3. If you’re singing in public- be really drunk or really good.
4. If you’re a dinner guest- eat the food and like it.
5. Never run outside in only a towel if you live on a busy street- especially if it’s a teeny towel.